- Property Tax "Cuts" (cough): He mocks the legislature's pathetic $35 savings on a $200K home while they rammed through the biggest income tax cut since Brownback. Never mind that Fiander himself has been harping on property taxes for years in prior columns like a broken record — this retired planner who never had to balance a real budget now lectures from his ivory tower about how it's a "kiss of death" for the state. Meanwhile, a post-audit shows counties underfunded on mandates? Shocking — almost like local governments (the ones Fiander used to run) rely on property taxes he pretends to hate.
- Gerrymander Fever: Fiander clutches pearls over Ty Masterson and Dan Hawkins trying to redraw maps to boot Sharice Davids, calling it an "undemocratic contagion." This from a guy whose entire career was drawing lines on maps for zoning and development — but sure, Bill, your lines were sacred, theirs are evil. He even throws in "petulantly banished to Siberia" for dramatic effect, because over-the-top metaphors are easier than actual governing.
- Town Hall Flex: He scolds Sen. Marshall for walking out on a "rude" crowd asking about veterans amid DOGE cuts, contrasting it with Gov. Kelly's "listening tour" (which Fiander attended and then wrote about, naturally). Because nothing says "authentic public servant" like a former city director who grew a department 3x but now hides behind a podium at Washburn, mocking elected officials who actually face voters.
- Farm Blues: He wails about farmers getting "woodchippered" by DOGE, trade wars, and late China deals — then celebrates a $12B bailout as an "indictment." This urban planner from Topeka (who probably last saw a sorghum field on Google Maps) playing farm-policy expert is peak irony.
Bottom line: Bill Fiander is the classic armchair quarterback — a guy who spent decades pushing "smart growth," "complete streets," neighborhood health maps, and online permitting in Topeka, then bailed for academia to write sanctimonious columns bashing politicians for not doing what he never had the guts to try himself. He quotes movies, uses words like "dichotomous," and positions himself as the wise elder statesman while his Twitter (where he goes by @billyfi57, proudly repping Stanford football and Pittsburgh Steelers) shows him mostly defending college conference realignment and mourning old coaches. Perhaps the real "forgetful acquaintance" Kansans should drop is this pompous, retired paper-pusher who thinks his lecture notes qualify him to judge everyone else. Happy New Year, Bill — maybe spend 2026 planning something useful, like your next syllabus.
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